I was at the zoo. The clerk didn't seem to grasp that. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. Me: Yeah, well you're the load your mom should have swallowed. Now, I don't mean to sound cocky, but I'm damn good at the game. Douche: Why don't you go suck a cock like your mom? You should have been aborted. Can you die of constipation? When your mom tells you to clean your room she is basically sick and tired of the pig sty you call your bedroom.
It was in the strike zone. You were the one who told me about the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny and Santa! Are you going to breastfeed? What is the best comeback from an insult you have ever come up with or heard. The title may contain two, short, necessary context sentences. Next time your mom or dad giving you a lecture or a hard time try some of these funny comebacks. Backstory: Playing on X-Box Live with some friends in the same room as well , doing some Versus in Left 4 Dead. Can I touch your belly? Sure, you are busy with your life and we know that you have a lot going on.
I was feeling quite svelte today. Thanks for the earth shattering observation. Girl: I doubt she ever said that about you! The map was Death Toll, and I played survivor first. Thank you for the Bullshit sandwich, but I'm full. That's all we really needed from that story. It was December and the store was mobbed. It's the sound of no one caring.
Guy: That's what she said! I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. He met a critic a a party, who scolded him for being drunk. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Send tickets to your second night, if you have one. When the lifeguard wasn't watching?. Having comebacks shows that you're not being bullied by someone's attempts to sway your judgment.
The purpose of an argument is to make the umpire second-guess himself, and maybe call the next one in your favour to avoid more arguing. Some batter: How was that a strike? Me: Why don't you just shut it and go crawl into a corner somewhere? Yo mama so dumb and dislexic that she sold her soul to santa!!!! Man, that snap was staler than yo breath. Yo mama so dumb she chased a parked car, then got knocked over by it!!! You just helped me realize it. It's totally acceptable to grope a stranger's body. Yes, I'm pretty sure I would be aware if I were carrying two babies.
No one can ever out-argue the umpire in a baseball game - it's in the rulebook. Yo mama so fat i rolled over 2wice n burnt my ass on the lightbulb!! I don't boast to people online, I just put them in their place with a well thought out hunter pounce if they're being arrogant asses. Man, that snap is so old, the last time I heard it my grandfather was still wearing a leather condom. Should you be allowed to speak? Guy: 5 inches deep in your mom! Of course, it will depend on who says it, but go ahead, tell us what you think is the best comeback! Are you sure you don't have twins in there? She has probably had enough of picking crap up off the floor and reminding you several times to do it. You look like you're about to explode! Yo mama so fat she uses the equater as a belt! When his turn came, I got him with the first hunter I got. You know so much about this! Why not take today off? Do I look like I planned this? He believes in bringing about positive change to the world through good-natured humor and innovative technology. You were dragged through dumb-ass forest.
He didn't respond after that. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Yo mama so dumb she got locked in a toilet n pissed herself!! Filter posts by subject: Do you have ideas or feedback for Askreddit? This guy was, insulting me through private messages because me and my buddies were doing better than his team, so after the first game ended and we all went back to the lobby, he just started bitching about how we were obviously cheating. Related Links: a b c d e This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. I thought it was quite fitting for this thread. Me: It's a strike in the rulebook. I am going to let karma fuck you up. Parents can drive you crazy no matter how old you are! A: The back of my hand.
Yo mama so dumb i gave her a penny, she asked for change!! I think that was the elevator because you're not on my level! Of course, I don't overdo it, otherwise it's just unprofessional. Yo mama so ugly she looked out the window n got arrested for mooning!! I was violently ill for most of my pregnancies, yet I still managed to gain 60+ pounds each and every time. Some things are better just left unsaid to an expectant mom. Me: Yeah, well you're the load your mom should have swallowed. Its fun to see the look on their friends faces. Does the new one work now? Never mind, its too long.
I'm more of an essay person, not a speak in class kind of person, so I'm not good on the spot. Please use spoiler tags to hide spoilers. I hit my pregnancy low when shopping at Marshall's while nine months pregnant with my third. Did someone leave your cage open? Douche on X-Box live: Dude, you obviously were cheating. He didn't respond after that.
You're going to have your hands full! No text is allowed in the textbox. Some coach: That's not a strike in my book. Must have been a long and lonely journey. Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor. That is where most accidents happen. Nice comeback muthafucka, you can scrape that off Yo chin and use it again! Its not whats wrong with our generation its who raised us. You have your entire life to be a jerk.