Directions of Integration Growth and Disintegration Stress As we have seen with the Levels of Development, the nine personality types of the Enneagram are not static categories: they reflect our change over time. They have depth and dimension with a dynamic association to other types within the Enneagram symbol. Type 7: The Epicure Self-preservation: Family — The Gourmand This subtype likes to enjoy an abundant lifestyle within family and a circle of friends. As much as possible they attempt to actually do as many of their options as they can. Challenge them to be more warm and generous. These Nines tend to be tender and sweet, and they may not realize they are living through specific others.
Self Pres people do not have a monopoly on anxiety, but it often shows up as a chronic, body-based issue for them. Actually, social subtype Sevens delay rather than abandon their gluttony, but they often mistype themselves as Twos because they can be focused on the needs of others. You may feel uncomfortable or even anxious at first. When children are present, the circle grows larger. By calming down and talking it over, and by remembering the subtype differences, this couple found the necessary compromises.
Both wings are always present, however, one of the wing types may be more expressed and influential. All of these people have found balance with their three instincts and have successful primary relationships. The Self Pres types can relate more to the same issues, the same anxieties, and the same security operations. Note that points Three, Six, and Nine form an equilateral triangle. This subtype expresses a need to be completely transparent with their partner, and they need their partner to be very open as well- and this ideal of trust and intimacy is not easy to find. However, they may not be willing to spend all evening, or all weekend, on what seem like vitally important activities to the Self Pres subtype, such as family gatherings, house work, financial planning, etc.
Where are the boundaries set? Is the problem that he is socially excessive and inconsiderate, or that she takes on too much work and responsibility for providing meals, company, and a polished home environment? The social Five is concerned about where he or she stands in the group. Everyone emerges from childhood with one of the nine types dominating their personality, with inborn temperament and other pre-natal factors being the main determinants of our type. They put their own issues aside, maintain a happy front to avoid burdening others and make sacrifices to meet group needs. They cut right to the bones of people while forgetting to pay attention to the flesh and heart. Self Preservation Subtypes in relationship Most Self Preservation subtypes share a relational style that is characterized by warmth the Point Six word and the need to achieve a basic feeling of security Point Three through affection and nurture. The Social Five Superior, but not Separate Social Five may seem like an oxymoron, a contradiction in terms, but Fives have their social subtype just like all the rest of the numbers.
They lament frequently and tend to take on the victim role. Strengths: Scholarly, perceptive, self-reliant Problems: Isolated, overly intellectual, stingy Speaking style: Rational and technical, most comfortable in their area of expertise. The most notable and potentially frustrating thing about people of this type is the difficulty involved in getting really close to them. So if you have something real to talk to them about, they will be fine conversationalists. His descriptions of the 27 personalities that emerged from the mixture of a specific dominant instinct and the passion and patterns of the type were greatly expanded and much more interesting than any I had heard before.
This subtype is reliable, efficient and productive and aspires to do the right thing. The nine points represent the ways in which the nine different personality types perceive and defend their realities. For a longer explanation and examples, see Personality Types, 47-52, 413-8. Fives tend to be a private people, but this five has a great need for intimacy under the right circumstances- if they can find a person they can really trust to love them despite their flaws. As we travel the path of intimacy we follow the basic needs and longings of our deepest selves, we rely on the strengths and capacities of our type structure, and we are confronted with the issues and limitations of our defense systems. This relates to what we believe is good for us, or what we believe we require to get what we want and need in this world. Make it safe for them to share themselves, especially their feelings.
It will help you understand the Enneagram if you sketch it yourself. Because of this, they have a tendency to display too much optimism and enthusiasm. Their ability to express these feelings of demand and anger may mask how sad or confused they really feel. The complete Enneagram: 27 paths to greater self-knowledge. When this happens, we may do one or several of the following: 1 teach the types or some of them incorrectly because we emphasize one or more of the subtypes in our descriptions over the others — for example, describing Threes from the social subtype Three perspective or describing Fours from the more dramatic one-to one subtype perspective; 2 not be engaged — either us or those whom we teach — in the best self-development activities because they do not align with the real growth needs of our real type; and 3 unintentionally get those we teach so identified with their wrong type that it becomes difficult for them later on to switch to the type that truly defines their character or ego structure. Whether or not they overtly express it, they are motivated and take action when they are angry.
I needed to stop waiting to be taken care of—or unconsciously forcing others to take care of me or put up with my over-sensitivity and childishness—and learn to do some hard things, like supporting myself fully and doing certain things for myself. And his wife was able to forgive him, for the most part, by understanding his real love for her as demonstrated through his busy Self Pres style. Self Pres people can have serious blind spots, jeopardizing financial security with the lure of a big win, or leaving a secure home or work situation in order to find something more attractive and compelling elsewhere. How important is your family? This is important because, for example, two people of the same personality type and wing will differ significantly if one is healthy and the other unhealthy. The pride they take in their work is commendable. They have a relationship or team mentality and work very hard to support the success of others rather than their own.